Healing

FREEDOM FROM FEAR

• Your life is not to be defined by what other people make of it.
• If someone hurts you, it is because they have sick minds, not because of any fault of yours.
• You have a beautiful life ahead of you, it is not to be defined by sick minds.
• Living well is the best gift you can give yourself. Push yourself to do so until it becomes a habit.
• To start with, read books on self help, listen to music, watch movies that inspire you.
• Take care to avoid triggers that remind you of the occasion or pain till you are stronger. Any music, place or people that trigger off memories of the past is to be avoided for a while.
• Get help. Reach out, if there are people taunting or threatening you. People who threaten you are cowards who feed on your fear. The moment you break free of that fear, the perpetrator loses their control over you.
• Push yourself into doing things you love and are passionate about.
• Empower yourself with survivor stories, positive thoughts, law and self-help books. Also pamper yourself mentally, emotionally and physically to make yourself strong.
• Good music, travel, books, writing, for different people it is different paths. Find your own and move forward.
• Just as we go to the doctor if our body is unwell, we need to seek support if our minds needs it. Do seek counselling support if you need to.
• It takes strength to become a survivor.
• You are strong, you are powerful

• Keep reinforcing the fact that it was not their fault.
• Be there for them whenever they need support.
• Different people have different reactions to trauma, some react, some internalize and some deny. Do not judge them.
• Understand that withdrawal, anger outbursts, repeatedly talking about the assault are all part of the process of healing. The victim is trying to make sense of what happened.
• Make sure they get enough sleep and food.
• Encourage them to go for counselling.
• Get them survivor stories, information on what they are going through and empower them.
• Encourage them to be positive and support each positive step they take.
• Show them good things to look forward to. Like music, nature, books, friends.
• Strengthen their belief in themselves. Reinforce their strengths.

Overcoming a traumatic experience is a difficult task that requires a lot of time and endurance. It is absolutely normal to feel vulnerable and not quite like yourself. The first thing to keep in mind while starting the healing process is that different people react differently to different incidents.

A healing process that might help someone might not help you. Also, not everyone recovers at the same pace; some people require more time. You should not feel disappointed if you feel that your friend or close one is moving on faster than you are. Keep in mind that you don’t know what exactly is going on in that person’s life.

Your life might change after a traumatic incident. You might not feel like yourself. You might feel like nothing will ever be the same again. It might be hard to talk to the persons you used to confide in. You might find it difficult to communicate to the people who are there for you. Things that used to interest you do not anymore. You might have self-destructive thoughts and feel like giving up. Understand that all these are legitimate thoughts and it is completely normal to feel this way.

  • Acceptance – The first step towards the healing process is to accept the incident that happened to you. Sometimes, it feels like the traumatic incident that happened to you happened to someone else. It might feel easy to ignore it and pretend that it did not happened to you.
  • Understanding – Understand that what happened to you was not your fault. The traumatic incident that happened to you did not come as a punishment for any of your previous act. You did not deserve to go through that experience. You did not invite the incident in any way.
  • Take some time off – Take some time off from your normal routine to relax and try to heal yourself. You might not be in a capacity to undertake your normal activities. At the same time, some people might find it easy to bury themselves in work. Choose what is ideal for you, what works best for you.
  • Communication – Talking about what happened to you with others will help you understand it better yourself. Sometimes hearing about the experiences of others and how they dealt with unpleasant experiences will help you figure out how to get over your bad experiences and enrich yourself.
  • Seek professional help – If you find it difficult to talk about yourself to people who knows you or if you feel that your loved ones do not understand you anymore then it might be wise to seek professional help. Enrol yourself in therapy and open yourself. Talk about anything that you feel. A therapist is there to listen to you and help you understand what happened to you and to help you try to move on to have a full life.
  • Find the artist within you – Try and do things that relax you. Listen to music, paint, write and keep a journal, dance. Do things that help you express yourself and the artist within you. These activities have been found to have therapeutic effect on people.
  • Try new things – If your usual activities do not help you anymore it might be helpful to try new things. Try to have enriching experiences and step out of your hole.
  • A healthy routine – For attaining a state of well being, it is important to feel mentally and physically healthy. It is crucial to have a healthy routine in your day-to-day life. Eat balanced meals, have a healthy amount of sleep and sleep on time, do small exercises, meditate and do things that make your life easier.
  • Move on – It might feel like moving on is the last thing that might happen to you. Forgetting the experience might not be possible but try not to let it define who you are. You will know when you are finally ready to move on. Proceed through life determined and with a goal in your mind. Celebrate small wins, appreciate the good people in your life, travel and try to leave behind unpleasant memories.